“Look at him!”
I’m hanging with my legs folded over the wooden crossbar that holds the boat’s sail. The blood rushes to my head. I see the waves pouring downwards, the foam refreshes my face, and leaves a necklace of pearls that come to weigh down my fringe hanging towards the water.
“Look at him!” - my little sister cries out again, leaning against the railing and pointing her small finger at me. A smile crosses my lips when my eyes meet her sparkling gaze.
With a supple acrobatic movement, my body brings me back to the deck without me realizing the precise gestures I’ve made. I quickly regain my senses and ask “Tell me, where are we going, little sister?” “Ha. you don’t remember anything again? We’re on our way to the Celestial Ark!” It’s my favorite landscape. I hope I’ll stay long enough to see it! I turn, before dashing towards the bow. My legs begin their series of 5 strides: left foot on the anchor hook, push off, avoid the coiled rope, lower head to let the sail pass, right foot at the base of the mast, one last stride and…
BLACK
“Why are you sulking?” My head in my hands is tossed by the rolling. The weather is rough. With my fingertips, I feel pre-pubescent fuzz on my cheek. The previous episode really didn’t last long. “I’m not sulking, I’m just lost in thought!” I finally reply. “Well, eat your mackerel, you’re in the middle of a growth spike.” My mother continues.
I lift my elbows from the table to shovel in a mouthful. My eyes wander over the contours of our cramped cabin where the radio and provision bags wage war for space on the shelf. The stocks are full, we must have just made landfall, I spot a piece of dried meat sticking out of a jute bag, we’ve just left the Great Peninsula. From memory, all the other ports only sell fish, or are simply vegetarian.
My mother and sister eat their daily ration in silence. My eyes rest on the empty stool to their right. A surge of sadness rises in my heart.
“Tell me, where are we going, little sister?” I asked to distract my own thoughts. “The course isn’t certain, mom’s hesitating between the Sun Gardens and the Twilight Lance.” I nod and resume my meal. The evening unfolds as usual, in silence.
BLACK
On a summer day, on tiptoe, I look over the railing at a pod of dolphins swimming along the hull. – “Tell me, where are we going, little sister?” – “We’re going to the Great Maelstrom” - Her high-pitched voice replies, stumbling over the words.
BLACK
Dad watches over us during our math exercise session, additions for my sister, multiplication for me. “Tell me, where are we going, little sister?” I whispered discreetly. “In two days, we’ll be at the Pillar of Time!” Dad looks up from his book, gives us a distracted glance, then buries himself in it again.
BLACK
I’m on all fours on the deck. Bundled up tightly in a woolen bodysuit. I want to speak but the words don’t come. I want to walk but I can only chaotically flail my little limbs. I concentrate, straighten up, take a step. Raise my head. The radiant faces of my parents, their bursts of joy. No little sister around.
BLACK
“Tell me, where are we going, little sister?”, “To the Cold Lands!”
BLACK
“Tell me, where are we going, little sister?”, “To the Ice Peak!”
BLACK
“Tell me, where are we going, little sister?”, “To the Pink Dunes!”
BLACK
Cold Lands, Celestial Arches, or Sun Garden. I’ve never seen them. They only exist in my dreams. Life presents itself to me in the wrong order. And I feel like I’m going nowhere.
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